I GOT INTO HALLMARK!!!!!!!!
Next year, I will be attending Hallmark Institute of Photography!!!
in about a week, i'll find out whether or not i'm accepted into Hallmark Institute of Photography.
and if i am... that's where i'm going.
pray for me!!!
i'm in a weird-ish mood.
i talked to beth tonight, which is what i think put me in a weird mood... it's so hard to talk to people from camp, espically the CILTS, well, now counselors. i mean... ever since i left camp, they don't talk to me anymore. only beth and emily, really. i feel shunned, almost, for not passing cilt... and it really sucks. because, i really thought these girls were gonna be my life long friends, and it's like "sorry, you're a camper so we can't talk to you." =[ and it really, really hurts.
a lot of the current cilts keep asking me if i'm going to do cilt 2 over again... and it's hard to tell them no. though it's the truth, its hard for me to accpet that. i'm not going back to camp next year. i'm not sure if i will ever go again. right now, it's just not what God has planned for me... i don' t get why, but i'll hopefully see that eventually...
to be honest, i dread looking at the camp website or looking at people's photos from camp... it's like 'hey, there's the place i grew up... the place i loved more than anything else... the place that told me that who i was wasn't good enough for them.' i wasn't even mailed the fall newsletter or anything. i found out about willow being engaged through a facebook comment made on lydia's profile. willow won't even respond to my emails.
really, i do not know why i didn't pass cilt. i was told so many different things and people told my parent's different things that i don't know what is the truth. i was told i was too much of a "happy" Christian- that i saw too many possitives and didn't know how to accept negatives... i'm not going to get into how i feel about that because i could go on for hours. i was also told that i just "wasn't ready" and that doing cilt 3 would not be enough time, even though they told me i was the "perfect person to be a counselor" i was still not ready. willow told my mom i was the youngest person to ever to cilt... that's a lie, there were girls in our cilt class younger than me.
there is so much more i want to say... but i just can't put in words how i feel.
i have yet to email any of the cilts about this... i don't know how they would respond.
so... i guess all there is left to do is just say goodbye to camp...
but, i just don't want to...
oh holy shit.
this is the explanation. i have been absent from school 5 times already, one excused for a college tour the other 4 i have been violently ill. yesterday was one of those days. UGH. i do NOT want to be sick any more.
So, life is pretty okay at the moment.
School, well, it could be better. It's not hard or anything, I gues want it to be over and not have to go to college. But, whatever.
Not too happy with drama at the moment, but it'll pass by.
Justin and I are doing fantastic! It's good, very good. He comes home on the weekends, I chill with him, and we are total dork together. I couldn't be happy.
Build-A-Bear = cooliest job ever.
Right now... I'm exhausted. I have a ton of homework that I don't feel like doing, and I have to study for a Spanish test. I'm thinking about crashing in the hot tub for a bit instead.
Justin is home for the weekend. He totally HATES his college. =( I feel so bad. I guess he's going to transfer to 3 rivers at the end of the semester. I feel bad... I mean, part of my is like "YES!!!" but then... He's been looking forward to going to this school for so long, and now that he's there, he realizes that it isn't as awesome a he thought it would be. From the sound of it, it doesn't sound great at all.
But, we'll see what happens...
So.... School. Yup. My blue day is AWESOME!! But my white day, eh, not so much. Let's just say I have NOOOOO friends in any of my classes, so I guess I'll be getting my work done for sure those days. Oh, and my english teacher already assigned me an essay, due Tuesday. Yeah, she's a winner. >.<
School dance on the 15th!!! Which means JUSTIN GETS TO COME HOME!!! And speaking of which, HE'S COMING HOME THIS WEEKEND!!!! I'm sooooooo excited! =] Man, it's only been a week... But it's been, like, meltdown mode centeral here between school, college stuff, and him leaving. But, this will make things all better!!!
That's all for now...Gonna go and get food and read.
Lot's of love!!!
- Mood:AAHHHH! YAYAYAYAYAY!!! =]
... school starts tomorrow.
someone shoot me.
- Mood:BAHHHH! SCHOOL!
So, I thought I would be pretty okay without the boy. And, for the most part I am...
I just miss him. A lot.
I honestly don't know when I'm gonna see him next. He keeps saying he's gonna come home next weekend, but I don't think he's going to. Part of me hopes he doesn't, just so I can be use to him being gone, but then part of me hope he does because he's only been gone for a day and a half, and I miss him like CRAAAAZY!
But, I've been doing things to keep my mind off of him, and it's working for the most part. I think the madre and I are gonna go to the spa for my birthday, which'll be awesome... And I think I'm gonna get crap for school today. As weird as it sounds, I'm really want school to start up again so I can get my mind off of the boy and get on with life.
Well, I guess the good news in that Justin says all the girls at AMC are slutty bitches and he hates them all. YAY!!! That's very good for me.
But, I think I'm gonna go for now.... LOVE TO EVERYONE!