Well, the time has come.... I'm leaving for camp on Sunday to do CILT 2, and if I pass I will be at camp until August 4th.
I looooooooooooooooooooove everyone!
If I don't talk to you or see you before Sunday, have an amazing summer!
I'll miss you!
... Yeah. I think that's it.
Oh, and a p.s.
I'm a senior.
They think I'm just fine about the school year ending; I'm completely bugging out.
He thinks I'm fine with him going to college; I can't help but cry thinking about it.
They think I might ready to be a camp counselor; I don't want to stop being a camper.
He thinks I'm so gun-ho about being stage manager; Sometimes I just want to give up theatre all together.
She thinks I just want to go to camp and college and never come home; I never want to leave home.
He thinks I won't miss him when I go to camp; I'll think about him every day.
This year went by way to fast... I'm not ready for this summer... I don't want to leave home... I don't want my senior friends to leave... I don't want to loose him... I don't want htings to change...
But, whatever happens, I have Him to help me through it all.
& all my friends, too.
Went to the nail salon with Rachel and Alyx today- FANTASTIC!!! Oh my goodness, I need to go back ASAP... I loved it!
Prom on saturday!!! CANNOT WAIT!
I'm actually extremely excited for prom this year.... actually, i'm basically PUMPED for prom!!!
but I'm off to bed.
oh, and ps. i'm going to japan next year! sweeeeeet!
#1: Pinky Promises Are My Favorite#2: When He Tells Me He Never Wants To Come Home From College, I Think I'm Apart Of That Reason #3
: Lately, All I Do Is Fight With My Emotions #4
: I Don't Understand People On This Earth #5
: I Think Being A Ninja Would Make Life So Much Cooler #6
: I Wish We Could Just Be Friends Again. #7
: God Is So Far Out Of My Life, That I Can't Believe I'm Still Standing #8
: No Matter What They Say, You're NEVER Too Young To Fall In Love #9
: Sometimes I Wish Hogwarts Was Real So I Could Curse The People Who Make Me Mad #10
: I Hate Watching Him Go Home, Because I Never Want It To End
**More fun, random facts about me to come!!!
I'm sure most of you have heard about the recent events at Virginia Tech, it's hard not to hear about it.
There is a kid from our school who graduated last year and currently goes to VT, thankfully he was not injured in the event. I also know a girl from my camp who goes to VT and would be a senior this year. Sadly, I never kept in touch with her so I have no idea of her condition, or if she even still goes there.
It's such a scary thing to think about... What exactly drove Cho Seung-Hui to go on a rampage across his campus, killing his own classmates? Quoting 'The Laramie Project' (more or less to the exact words), but what in our world has taught him to do such a thing? How could we, as a society, have prevented that?
My heart goes out to the families who lost a child, husband, wife, friends, mother, father... It's just so upsetting to think that 32 innocent lives were taken by one man's actions.
Another quote from TLP, but... It's sad to think that we live in a world where shit like this happens. Because it DOES happen- read it for yourself or just turn on CNN.
Here's basically how I feel about it:
And it was so good to be with people who felt like shit. I kept feeling like I don't deserve to feel this bad, you know? And someone got up there and said uh- he said um, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah and then she said, I'm saying it wrong, but basically he said, c'mon guys, let's show the world that Laramie is not this kind of a town. But it is that kind of a town. If it wasn't this kind of a town, why did this happen here? I mean, you know what I mean, like- that's a lie. Because it happened here. So how could it not be a town where this kid of thing happens? Like, that's just totally- like looking at an Escher painting and getting all confused like, it's just totally like circular logic, like how can you ever say that? And we have to mourn this and we have to be sad that we live in a town, a state, a country where shit like this happens. I mean, these are people trying to distance themselves from this crime. And we need to own this crime. I feel. Everyone needs to own it. We are like this. We ARE like this. WE are LIKE this.
-Monologue by Zubaida Ula, pg. 60 from 'The Laramie Project'
That's just how I feel man. Exactly like that.
Tomorrow, April 20th is a day of remembrance for those killed at VT, and people are suppose to wear Orange and Maroon, VT's school colors.
I will be doing that, and I hope many of you will do it as well.
Please keep the victim's and family's of VT in your thoughts are prayers.
We're together again.
Okay, I suppose I should explain.
Today at school I was all miserable and such, trying to advoid him. But then I realized I had a book of his so I had to go and give it to him. This was after band. So I give it to him and I'm like "Here ya go." And I try to walk away. But then he grabbed my hand and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. He said, "How have you been?" and I was like, "Um... pretty miserable, thanks." and then he was like, "We need to talk. I love you." And then he gave me a kiss and was like, "Can we talk before drama?" and dumbfounded I was like, "... uh... yeah..."
Drama finally came, which felt like FOREVER, and he pulled me out into the hallway and was like, "Listen. I'm sorry. It's just that all this college stuff hit me, between signing up to work at the fire house there, sending in my application, having the coach ask me to play baseball, and everything else that's been going on. I was stressed and scared about dragging you into all of this, and I made a random decision to just break up and make everything go away. But I was wrong. I was miserable without you- I wouldn't leave my room or anything. I love you and I miss you... So, I guess what I'm saying is... I'm sorry, and will you be my girlfriend again?"
So what do I do? First i punch him in the chest and give him a nastly glare, then I kiss him and say, "yes."
That's it really... I dunno what else to say.
|"How great is our God,|
Sing with me
How great is our God,
and all will see
How great, How great
Is our God!"
He is pretty fantastic, eh? I mean... He's done so much for us. I mean, look at the meaning of Easter! Hello, that's pretty fantastic in itself!!! I was teaching my Awana class last week about Jesus dying on the cross for us, and it was pretty cool because they were all like 'Whoa...!' and they were all like 'Was Jesus ever a little kid?' and a ton of cool questions.
It was great.
And it makes me really excited for camp this summer.
I love God. And the life He's given to me... All the up's and the down's.
"She laid her heart and soul right in your hands,
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans,
She never even knew she had a choice and that's what happens,
When the only voice she hears is telling her she can't,
You stupid boy.
We talked yesterday for a little bit on the phone.
It was good.
To talk about how we both feel, what's going on.
But it still doesn't make me feel any better.
Than his dad called to talk to my dad.
He said that Justin is miserable.
And I'm miserable.
So why can't it just work out?
But, hey, it's Easter!
Everyone in my family is sick, so no big Schlink Easter Celebration.
Okay, I need to go entertain myself.
- Mood:Miserable still...
So... Here's the story.
A few weeks ago Justin and I got into a huge fight, just about stupid things. Since then we've been really awkward and we've sorta been advoiding each other and such.
After drama yesterday he seemed upset and he gave me "that look", and I was just like, "Okay, we need to talk."
So we went into the back bandroom hallway and talked for a long time.
We decided that the best thing for us to do is to just break up, because neither of us have really the same feelings for each other.
But, we don't want to loose each other. He's my best friend, and I'm his best friend. We both know so much about each other that no one else knows... We're just so close and neither of us wanted to hurt each other by pretending anymore.
We kissed and hugged one last time, and I walked away, not looking back.
I wish I had.
Because I'm miserable.
Because I'm so afraid of loosing my best friend.
Say some prayers for me.